Now that gay marriage is legal in California, I’ve decided to go ahead and get a minister’s license and open up shop! I actually got my license for my friend’s wedding, but I’ve decided to reach out to the gay community and offer my services. If you’re looking for a minister who will take hold your wedding vows in the highest regard, but also have fun with it and keep everybody entertained, hit me up. Serious inquiries only. Oh, I’m not gay, but I am a huge fan of Queen, Rufus Wainwright, and The Communards—so I am a huge supporter! Lets get married! Lets Party! Email me for a quote and/or references.

Tokyo Police Club is a pretty decent indie-rock outfit that has made some great music. The Rentals had one really good album that had one really amazing song on it called “Friends Of P” God damn, that song was great. Why are the two connected you ask—well, TPC has just released a wonderful cover of “Friends Of P”, and they’re doing for it for a good cause, Lupus.

Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect various parts of the body, including the skin, joints, heart, lungs, blood, kidneys and brain. Normally the body’s immune system makes proteins called antibodies, to protect the body against viruses, bacteria, and other foreign materials. These foreign materials are called antigens.

So from what I gather, Lupus really really sucks and we need to help raise money and awareness to fight a disease that’s already affecting over 2 million Americans. Go listen to the damn song and buy a bag or something! Stop sitting there on you rcomputer jacking off when you could be saving lives! Thank you. Now you can go back to youporn.com

This story caused me some serious inner turmoil. As an expectant father of a baby boy, it’s disgusting to think this type of shit happens on the daily. As a once-pre-pubescent teenage boy, I curse the earth and sky for this happening and me not being there.
Anyway, this is what is being reported, (by cbs3 in Ower Makefield, Pa.). And please don’t think I condone this type of behavior, I might just be a little bit jealous. Oh, and the names of the moms are so porno already that it’s pretty damn ironic (come on, 
 Angela Honeycutt and Lynne Long, i guess the names Titney Speares and Brenda Bang were already taken), and I bet these two ladies are into some crazy shit, not just statutory rape.

“Police said two Bucks County moms have been charged after a sleepover involving six teenage boys took an alleged illegal sexual turn. 
 Angela Honeycutt, 38, and Lynne Long, 45, are facing numerous charges after a series of alleged incidents on April 14.
 Authorities said the teens, ages 14 to 16, were attending a sleepover at Long’s Lower Makefield home when Honeycutt, a mother of two young children, allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old and performed sex acts with a 15-year-old. Long allegedly watched, listened and instructed the teens not to say anything.
In addition to the alleged sexual assault, detectives said Honeycutt exposed her breasts to the teens; open-mouth kissed some of the minors, entered a shower with a juvenile and engaged conversation of a sexual nature.
Authorities learned of the alleged sexual sleepover when one of the boys involved told his parents, who then went police.”

The sad thing is that these young boys’ sexual expectations are going to be way to high now. Just so they know, this shit doesn’t happen in the real world, I’ve never even heard of a sleepover orgy with multiple cougars, but then again, maybe I’m hanging out at the wrong slumber parties.

I just heard on Howard Stern this morning that Courtney Love reported Kurt Cobain’s ashes were stolen from her house the other night. The obvious jokes like, “How does one turn human ashes into smokable crack?” or “Do human ashes burn your nose when you snort them?” went through my mind, but I’m pretty sure those jokes will be taken. Now all I can say is “Hopefully the person snorting Kurt’s ashes won’t get any shotgun pellets stuck in their nose”, or “If you’d like to make Kurt Cobain’s ashes smokable, you might want to use a pipe or a bong, sprinkle a little bit of weed on top, and make sure you film what happens after the fact—sounds like a fun party.”

Either way, Courtney Love has proved once again that she is either one unlucky lady, or a bag of sit, who may have very well annoyed Kurt Cobain into killing himself. Personally I’d rather let a rat chew on my penis than have her touch it, unless she’s in town—Courtney, you around?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Kut U Up reunion show this summer. Belly Up. July 30th.
Stay tuned …

Also playing, The Drowning Men and Get Yr Death On

You know him as the brains behind Angels And Airwaves, I know him as semi-gay, lanky, ex-truck driver, who used to sing songs about masturbating. He has seen me naked many, oh so many times. My wiener has told him good night (you can read all about it in the book, someday), and I’ve done some of the most disgusting things to myself in front of him—weird. Anyway, Tom is my friend, so I really don’t care what you say about him, seriously, say whatever you want, everybody’s already said everything about him and he really doesn’t care, even when you say he’s gay and has sexual relations with dogs (he’s said that about himself). Here is an interview that is short, lame, and not rally pertaining to anything. But it’s always fun to hear what comments he has for me today.

Cotescube: What do you think of the massive emo fallout that’s going in Mexico—As in, heavy metal kids bashing emo kids just for being emo?

Thomas Delonge: Metal kids were always pissed at people who could read, and who looked good in fitted clothes

Why “Mod Life” when you “My Space”?

Why “Myspace” when you “Don’t Wipe”?

When was the last time you talked to Mark Hoppus? What did you talk about?

Three years ago—Kissing, loving, band breaking up.

Are you happy you’ve stopped wearing those terrible big, baggy, khaki Dickies mega shorts, and have started wearing adult pants?

Have you ever started a trend? Oh, well you wouldn’t understand.

How much nudity, if any, goes on while touring with Angels And Airwaves?

37.8% of all bus rides end up in nudity.

Do you miss seeing pre-pubescent tits in the crowd?

Maybe, is this a trick question about your sister?

I know you are very political, so tell me this, who will be the next president?

Obama for your Mamma.

What’s Bono’s real name?

Paul Hewson.

What should I name my first child?

Paul Hewson.

Do you miss me?

I do, quite often.

David Gonzalez might be the most exciting little fucker you’ve seen on a skateboard in many years. His vital stats are pretty epic as well. He was born in 1990, he’s from Medillin, Columbia (yes, that’s’ where Pablo Escobar was from), and now he represents the Volcom Stone. The kid is too rad. Is it weird to idolize a little kid? Oh yeah, the little fucker  also rides for Flip and Globe.

April 19 (yes, the day before 4:20) was Record Store Day across the country, and if you didn’t go to your local record store and hang out, mingle, purchase, support, ask snobby questions, look at album covers, bother the people working, and act like you work there—then you missed out on a great day. Sure, every day should be Record Store Day, but sadly, a lot of people buy records at Walmart and Target—a depressing state of affairs. With so many amazing independent record stores on the verge of collapse, it’s sad to think that our kids may have to ask a clueless clerk at Target about a the latest Sonic Youth reissue on vinyl or when will Don Caballero be coming back into town and playing a show. Bottom line, we all need to support our local independent record stores, they are becoming endangered species’ and for the sake of our youth, we can not let that happen. If our kids don’t go through the ridicule and torment of becoming a record store local, how can they start to become music snobs and armchair critics? My local record store, Lou’s Records had Louis IX play in parking lot, DJs spinning in the store, and it was awesome! Lou’s Records has been feeding ears since 1980 and is still owned and operated by Lou, who’s vinyl collection is known to be of biblical proportions. On Record Store Day, I bought the following discs: Beehive And The Barracudas Featuring The Insects, Tones On Tail Everything, Rocket From The Crypt R.I.P., Power Pill Fist, The Best Of Love And Rockets, and Ali Farka Toure—I know, a bunch of random shit, some of which i won’t like, but all of which will help me to continue on living as a Lou’s Records local and self-proclaimed music snob.

Trend alert! What’s the new shit in 08? Those of you in the know might know that the next big trend in streetwear is no doubt Green Sheik. But just what is “Green Sheik?” If you ask me, Green Sheik is a mix of tight skate gear and technical hiking/slash eco-nerd gear that is worn by environmentalist hipsters with money to burn, and people who hike or ride mountain bikes who might actually need tech gear to protect them from nature. Lets back up a little bit here. I noticed along with some of my Transworld SURF cronies that more and more “cool kids” have been running around rocking Patagonia windbreakers and North Face jackets (North Face puffer jackets aren’t just for gang members anymore). After a brief discussion regarding the strange occurrence we got back to work and I forgot about the whole conversation. Later that night, my friend who happens to work at Patagonia told me that a group of skaters including Lindsay Robertson had come in to Patagonia and bought a bunch of gear including windbreakers and various fleece tops (that sounded gay). Anyway, that got me thinking, holy shit, first it was random surf heads wearing this stuff, then pro skaters, who claimed “this shit’s so good to skate in.”

Now the brain machine is turning and for the first time in my life, I think I might be on the edge of the newest trend! The next day I was playing Scrabble with some other friends, one of which is in advertising. We got to talking about my revelation, and he informed us that this movement already had a name, Green Sheik.

            So there you go, March 2^nd, 2008, Green Sheik entered my vocabulary and I have no doubt bragged to more than a few people in the know that I knew about this eco-hipster movement before most normal people, and now you know about it, and no, you are not normal and neither am I. Green Sheik, watch out world, watch out hipsters, watch out wallets—green sheik will not be cheap! More to come … 

Yeah, um. Here’s my new blog. Not that I had an old blog. what you will find on this blog is a bunch of crap that wouldn’t work on transworldsurf.com, or, stuff that i’m too embarrassed to put on that awesome website. Cote’s Cube is a place for you to find epic gear, supremely cool resteraunts and bars, skate spots (for medicore skaters like me), look at art, see what happens at lame parties, check out my friends being all friendly and shit, and you may even learn something (god forbid).

Anyway, above you will see a very good looking man sitting on a kick ass Mustang (barf).
Well, thank you for coming, keep checking in, i’ll be putting this lame shit up all day.
i love you, Love Chris.